So... my show was cancelled yesterday. We were two weeks from opening and some not-completely-unforseen circumstances caused the company to decide to cut their losses and call it quits.
I'm bummed because we were right about to the fun part (for me, anyway) - tech, and running the show. I'm bummed because I really liked working with those people. I'm bummed because our rehearsal space was in the same building as Cupcake - they make a red velvet cupcake that will make you weep just a little bit.
The only thing consoling me is the fact that America's Next Top Model (Cycle 10!) begins this Wednesday, and I'm not always smart enough to put a tape in the VCR to record it.
Alas. Now I am rehearsal free for the time being. I probably won't get back into the game again until fall, and if I go back to school I may not have the time or the energy to study, work part time (maybe), take care of an infant AND sit in rehearsals five nights a week.
I backed out of the show I was slotted to do this Spring. I've never done that before and part of me wonders if it was a stupid move - if I essentially ended my career in theatre because I was too afraid.
I backed out because I will be 7 months pregnant by the time we tech. This doesn't seem like anything to someone who has neither been pregnant nor an SM during the tech of a show. My reasons were good ones - I have NO idea what is in store for me in the next few months, but I have a good idea it will involve exhaustion, high blood pressure, and stress that I should probably just avoid altogether.
I was told by someone whose opinion I hold very highly that what I was doing was "prudent". I don't think that is what that person meant. I think they meant "Seriously? You dropped out of an opportunity like this because you're PREGNANT? God, suck it up and do it anyway!"
Or something to that effect.
I think I made the right decision. It was a tough one, and I worried myself sick about it for days. I'm sure it would have been fine. I would have been huge and hippo-like, but otherwise fine and no more crabby than I ever am during a production. But how do you know something like that?
I understand that I'm totally rationalizing. I tend to do that. It makes stuff like this sting less.