Sunday, February 17, 2008

I just became REALLY available.

So... my show was cancelled yesterday. We were two weeks from opening and some not-completely-unforseen circumstances caused the company to decide to cut their losses and call it quits.

I'm bummed because we were right about to the fun part (for me, anyway) - tech, and running the show. I'm bummed because I really liked working with those people. I'm bummed because our rehearsal space was in the same building as Cupcake - they make a red velvet cupcake that will make you weep just a little bit.

The only thing consoling me is the fact that America's Next Top Model (Cycle 10!) begins this Wednesday, and I'm not always smart enough to put a tape in the VCR to record it.

Alas. Now I am rehearsal free for the time being. I probably won't get back into the game again until fall, and if I go back to school I may not have the time or the energy to study, work part time (maybe), take care of an infant AND sit in rehearsals five nights a week.

I backed out of the show I was slotted to do this Spring. I've never done that before and part of me wonders if it was a stupid move - if I essentially ended my career in theatre because I was too afraid.
I backed out because I will be 7 months pregnant by the time we tech. This doesn't seem like anything to someone who has neither been pregnant nor an SM during the tech of a show. My reasons were good ones - I have NO idea what is in store for me in the next few months, but I have a good idea it will involve exhaustion, high blood pressure, and stress that I should probably just avoid altogether.
I was told by someone whose opinion I hold very highly that what I was doing was "prudent". I don't think that is what that person meant. I think they meant "Seriously? You dropped out of an opportunity like this because you're PREGNANT? God, suck it up and do it anyway!"

Or something to that effect.

I think I made the right decision. It was a tough one, and I worried myself sick about it for days. I'm sure it would have been fine. I would have been huge and hippo-like, but otherwise fine and no more crabby than I ever am during a production. But how do you know something like that?

I understand that I'm totally rationalizing. I tend to do that. It makes stuff like this sting less.


Zosia said...

You made the right decision. Absolutely, no question.

Chilaquil said...

I concur. There will be more shows. You're going to be bringing the little darling to rehearsals. She (or he... it?) we'll be playing with the actors in the green room, smoking during intermission, and telling crude tales of her theatrical pranks before she/he/it is eight years old. It'll be awesome.