Saturday, December 29, 2007

It's 9:45 on Saturday night...

and Android is putting up a curtain rod in the bedroom. There is much pounding and grunting involved, and not in the fun way that should be happening in the bedroom.

I... I may kill him if he doesn't stop smashing things in the wall and crabbing about how he can never find a hammer when he needs one.

A week in review.

Walk Hard - Tried very hard not to pee myself laughing. Succeeded, but just barely. The scene with the Beatles was one of the funniest things EVER.

Charlie Wilson's War: Tom Hanks= Brilliant. Julia Roberts= best I've ever seen her. Phillip Seymour Hoffman= Beyond good. You must see this movie.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street- Perfect and fantastic and exactly as it should have been. Bless you, Tim Burton. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter were bitchin'. Perhaps not the best movie to go to on Christmas Eve with family members that had no idea what they were getting into, but... whatever. What did they think "Demon Barber" meant, anyway? Do they not IMDB every movie they see?

National Treasure: Book of Secrets - Pure entertainment from beginning to end. It won't win any Oscars, but I was totally into it, and so was every single person in the audience - great movie watching experience. Old Ed Harris. My GOD that man has aged well!

The Right Stuff - I understand this has been out for 20 some odd years, but no matter. Great movie, better book. Young Sam Shepard. Rowr.

Bee Movie - Weird and charming. Truly funny and very... yellow. Kinda put me off honey for a while, though.

In a little over a week I go back into rehearsal. Because I'm awesome (and it happened to work out this way) I have rehearsals Sunday-Thursday. Woo for me! Me and my actors may actually get to have social lives! Who knew?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I was saving that bacon.

Tallguy and I saw I Am Legend tonight. Don't tell Android - I think it was one of the movies he wanted to see with me. Oops.

Anyway, Will Smith is lovely as usual, he's a right talented young man, dontcha know.

Tomorrow Android and I shall see Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. I'm so excited I may actually pee my pants.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Bah humbug.

When is comes to Christmas (this year, at least) I'm a Grinch. When I'm at work I'm anti-Christmas. Christmas in the cheese shop means cheese trays and wine baskets and parties and giant vats of BBQ meatballs and crabby liquor store managers and stressed-out shipping guys and the increased chance that I will cut or burn myself.

On another note, my cat Lucy is spazzing out right now. She keeps attacking the mat by the back door. Then she runs away, then she attacks again.

And she just body slammed Finn on the kitchen floor. I think she may have gotten into the catnip.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Just a few things...

Apparently the Android starts speaking in a baaaad Brooklyn accent when he's drunk. This is a new development, and I'm not entirely sure I would have married him if I had known. I'm stuck now.

I start a new project in three weeks. I'm excited because it's going to be fun, but it's always hard to get back into the swing of things. Once the scheduling is done, and the contact sheets are typed up, etc... it gets to be fun. I'm pretty psyched for the cast - they seem cool. I recently worked with two of the guys and they are a joy to work with.

Christmas is a week away. This year will be spent with my family, so I don't have to stress myself out about the in-laws. Yay! My family is pretty low-key- that is, if I can deflect the guilt trips and passive aggressive tendencies. My Christmas tree isn't up yet, and I don't know if it ever will be. We lost one of the little plastic feet, so it won't stand up. Fuck it. I may drape twinkle lights over a chair and call it good.

Lately everything in the deli makes me want to throw up. I used the meat slicer today (I still have ten fingertips! Huzzah!) and had to crack open a new package of roast beef. Blood and beef juice GUSHED out of the plastic and I nearly hurled. Also, Philly Cheesesteak soup? Not delicious. Should never have been invented. Blarf. I think working with food all the damn time may be a positive - I never want to eat.

Ooh! Tallguy and I saw Beowulf in 3D last week. It was ridiculously gory (PG13?!?!) and kind of awesome. And now I have a bitchin' pair of 3D glasses for future use.

I'll gladly rent them to you.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

It's got to get better sometime, right?

I think the lack of sun is getting to me. I'm scowl-y all the time, I ache, I'm tired and I'm a fucking whiner. So pleasant.

I burned the shit out of the roof of my mouth on some lava-hot chili this afternoon, so now I'm in constant pain. I have to go be social. I like hanging out with these girls, but all I REALLY want to do is sit on the couch and read. Or watch CSI Miami.

OH! I had some seriously fucked up dreams last night. Or maybe it was all one dream... I don't know. Anyway, I remember being in the woods and this guy started chasing me with a straight razor, and then I got all these flashes of body parts- like he had lopped them off his victims. Then I started stabbing him in the back with a pen, but it turned out to be the Android - luckily I didn't kill him, but he still had like, 15 pen-sized holes in his back. I wiped them down and sprayed him with liquid band-aid and he went on his merry way.

Not a fun way to wake up, let me tell you.

I'm not sure what I ate last night that made me have such crazy head visions, but... no more.

Monday, December 10, 2007



That's how much I just blew on my car. The distributor was kaput, and apparently they are made of pure platinum by blind nuns in the South of France.

I'm going to go cry for a bit.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

We are Klingons!

This weekend, man.

I only have the brain power for a few bullet points, so here goes:

* The Klingon Christmas Carol went off without much of a hitch - and I got billed as stage manager. I was really only involved for six days, but I think they needed someone unknown to come in and boss people around. That's what I do. I'm The Closer if you will.

* My car died. Not completely dead, just disabled. It's sitting in my mechanic's parking lot, waiting to be poked and prodded tomorrow.

* I got a little Christmas spirit this afternoon when we walked into a coffee shop to wait for the tow truck - we were going to buy some hot beverages, but we only had plastic - and they only accepted cash and checks. No worries, we asked the owner guy if we could hang out and read while we waited. The two girls sitting near us came over a bit later with a hot chocolate for each of us. It was so sweet! One girl told us that her car had to be towed a few days ago and she knew how much it sucked. I felt all warm and fuzzy for HOURS after that, and I need to find a good way to return the favor.

* I bought some fantastic cheese at the cheese shop on Friday. I came home last night to see that the Android had made macaroni and cheese out of it. Seriously. He used a Wisconsin artisan cheese, a triple-cream Brie, and an 18 month gouda for his macaroni and cheese. I swear on all that is holy, I nearly killed him last night.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Three things that piss me off.

1) People who don't cross the street against the red light even when there are no other cars coming. Are you too good to jaywalk with the rest of us? You won't get hit by a car! (Possible exceptions - people with small children, the handicapped, and really, really old people.) I always feel like they are judging me from their ridiculously safe vantage point on the sidewalk.

2) Boys (because they certainly aren't men...) who still wear their stupid giant pants down around their thighs. I never liked this look. Never. The fact that it is still around baffles me. ATTENTION: You look STUPID. You have to do the weird waddle to keep your damn pants on. Stoppit. Buy jeans a few sizes smaller and feel free to let the world know you have an ass. It might be cute. I might stare at it appreciatively, who knows?

3) Those fucking babydoll dresses with Peter Pan collars that seem to be in vogue now. I haven't worn aPeter Pan collar since like, second grade... and I certainly won't start now by throwing on some jewel-toned monstrosity that looks rather like a circus tent.

No one can wear these dresses. Scratch that. No one but hipster girls can wear these dresses. I am not a hipster. I look like I ATE a hipster. Or three. (Why are they always so SKINNY?) Now, I could be a hipPIE, as they are allowed to be a little rounder... but The Wedge scares me a little.

I digress.

Those babydoll dresses with the Peter Pan collars? They need to be shot, ground up, turned back into thread and woven into some magical garment that makes my thighs look slim and my ass look like heaven.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

A dentist's nightmare.

I just created the MOST bitchin' gingerbread house.

The thing looks like Willy Wonka puked on it, but it is brilliant.

I did the whole thing while watching season three of Project Runway - My brain is rotten and I have a sugar headache... all in all a good Saturday.